I now understand. Tasj has recently (inexplicably) got me into watching Dawson's Creek (one of the better 'identify-with-me' TV shows around). One morning we were watching the show together & the below scene really summed up where I've been going wrong with my juggling. & I reckon I'm not the only one either.
Excerpt from Dawson's Creek
episode 508, Text, Lies & Videotape:
[Scene: After the meeting. Joey and Wilder are cleaning up the mess from the meeting.]
Wilder: Kafka writes something very similar to Felice. "Writing letters is like communicating with ghosts, "and not just the ghost of the person addressed, but with your own ghost as well."
Joey: Who's Felice?
Wilder: Kafka's fiancé. They had this intense romance, a kind of will-they, won't they that went on for years. Ultimately... nothing happened. Oh. You wanna hand me that glass?
Joey: Yeah. Do you really think I was right about those letters?
Wilder: Yours was the best idea I've heard so far. I'm not surprised. You're a freshman. Your brain has yet to be encoded with your discipline's received ideas.
Joey: Oh, so, in nonacademic terms, I'm just too stupid to know any better?
Wilder: Would you settle for having an open mind? For most people in college, that's the first thing to go. Wow. I hadn't pegged you for such a hardcore cynic.
Joey: I'm not.
Wilder: Look. It's like this. Most people, when they get to college, feel really insecure. It seems like everybody around them knows so much more. So they race to try to catch up, pretend to know things, instead of slowing down to actually learn them. Because they don't realize that the discomfort of uncertainty is the most precious part of the experience. See, if you can feel comfortable... not knowing, you can learn anything, anything. And if not, well, then you've stopped before you've begun.
Joey: For a while, I was...
Wilder: feeling insecure.
Joey: No. And I just... I guess what I'm saying is, um... thanks for choosing me to be on this project.
Wilder: Thank you for sticking with it. Grab that stuff. I'll clean the rest tomorrow.
Joey: Can I ask you one more stupid question?
Wilder: Shoot.
Joey: Who the hell is Derrida anyway?
Wilder: Ha ha! Well, uh, let's just say if literature were the star wars universe, he would be like the Darth Maul.